Green Knives.

There is my acquired consciousness. Which is actually in part the subconscious, as referred to in the previous post. So there is this cloud of energy, beliefs, thoughts, that becomes the canvas for my life, and gives me the colors and the models to reproduce. They all come from there. I just hold the paintbrush and paint, me painting is my conscious, which together with the subconscious creates my acquired consciousness. Of course I think I'm choosing the color, and the subjects to portray, but I'm not, my subconscious if feeding them to me, and it will keep feeding them to me until I stop and realize: wait, my subconscious is feeding me there, based on its beliefs and desires, which are inaccurate for me, not true anymore, not real. Only then will i be able to choose the subjects I want to portray and the colors to use.

 But how do I make that realization: by witnessing. By observing, looking at what's there. Me looking at myself doesn't create another me, it simply creates a different conscious, a virgin consciousness, not acquired, that is just there, witnessing what's going on. The act of observing creates this virgin consciousness, feeds it and nourishes it.  And it's this virgin consciousness that allows me to see what goes on inside me not as Me, what I do, but as something that is happening IN me, or that is forced ON me. 

This doesn't mean, for example, that is the subconscious gave me only green to paint with and a knife to portray, I will stop painting green knives. it just means I will know why I'm portraying green knives on a deeper level (before that, the conscious told me I was portraying green knives because I liked them, and I was encountering green knives because, well, that was the situation - but the subconscious was pulling the strings and arranging things so that I would keep encountering and feel like portraying green knives) - and I will have a choice to keep painting them, or look for other colors, or something else to paint.

However, until I take the subconscious and make it conscious - through the observing power of consciousness, that develops with the sheer act of observing and accepting-  I will only encounter green knives, and I will only feel like painting green knives, and what's worse, i'll think it's my only choice, my reality. My life.

And maybe I'll get sick of them, and keep encountering them, and get sicker, and frustrated, and unhappy, and keep encountering them, not understanding it's not a coincidence, not a situation that just happens, but an eternally present bubble I make myself live in mistaking it for the world. 

What survives in the Me that is virgin consciousness-driven, free: everything. Everything that I am.  The acquired consciousness joined in, not longer acquired, hidden, but fuly lit, shining as what it is. All my memories, experiences, all my painting techniques and styles and my paintbrushes and colors are there. Everything. Only, I am now free, I now have access to all of it, I'm not acting something out without the choice, possibility or even awareness that it can be different, I have the possibility to live in the world exercising my true will, with my consciousness fully aligned with life, flowing through me without interferences, debris, hiding spots, dams, undercurrents.

I can use, live, appreciate all my tools, experiences, memories, only not hidden, tarnished, mislead by the subconscious and not repetitively re-enacted by the conscious thinking it's living (while it's just perpetrating invisible commands mistaking them as its own will in  the world). I dont lose any of me, I just gain the ability to see all of me for what it is: a loving, connected, resourceful being with all the colors, canvases, subjects to paint, to create an artwork that becomes a tassel in the mosaic of life gaining awareness of itself - as above so below: as Life does, so we do in our lives, helping it and helping us, our true purpose.