eleventh post(post of change): vibrations.

If Matter as we mean it doesn't exist.
If it's only a slower, more together-feeling range of vibrations. If everything is different lengths of vibrations, resonances, clusters and circles and more.

We see through vibrations, hear through vibrations. Not vibrations released by the objects, but through vibrations that ARE those objects.
And we are vibrations. The act of seeing releases vibrations that interact with the ones we're "seeing". Thus we "intention" what we see.

All is vibration. This apple I'm looking at is a frequency. Me looking at it is a frequency. They clash and/or entwine, creating a new frequency. That's the apple that now IS. It is for me and only for me, but yet it has actual essence, it EXISTS.
And I think if I see it with conviction enough (though still unconsciously), it will influence the way the apple resonates with you. We'll tune in to one another and see it the same way.
And we have a whole apparatus of concepts and dictations (reality) that we're driven to tune in with, since birth.

Embedded convictions make us vibrate a certain way. Therefore we produce a "mass vibration", a repetitive, default vibrations that is around us as we're born, that we sync to, that we line ourselves with and aliment. That's "reality".
When we're distracted and for a moment emit a different vibration, or are innerly convinced something is something else, we see it that way. Not because we're mistaken, but because it BECOMES different.

To use these vibration consciously, that's Magic. Shaping reality according to will.
Not do desire or caprice, but to Will.

tenth post: long-haired Nicholas Cage

Quick Nicholas cage rule.

You go to the movies, you see a trailer. NIcholas Cage is in it. He has short hair. If you have twelve bucks o spare and it looks interesting, go see it. You're safe. You'll be okay. It might not be great, it might actually be quite good. You'll be fine.

But if Nicholas Cage has long hair DO NOT GO. You won't be fine. You'll be sitting in the theatre screaming to yourself. You'll be wondering, while you drive your nails into your skin and the skin of the person next to you, "WHY?! WHY?!? GOD, WHY??!! Why the fuck did I come see this. i used to have a life, I used to be happy. or at least, fuck, not the mass of misery and meaninglessness I am now. I used to have something to look forward to, now I don't. all the beauty in the world couldn't fill the gap opened in me by this wrenching nothingness".
Verbatum.

You'll set yourself on fire with the lighter fluid in your lighter that you carry on you because after the first five minutes of long-haired Nicholas Cage film you picked up smoking, eating garbage and drinking heroin. You'll lose all your hair but start growing stalagmites of mayo. Your hands will become webbed, yet you'll be afraid of any form of liquids, which is why when people will try to save you after you set yourself on fire, you'll lose your mind and stab them in the face with your mayo-spikes, then set yourself on fire again.

ninth post: let's all be like Huber

With so much talk about 2012, the most interesting prediction is probably that, with the level of awareness shifting and the border self/reality thinning, the projection of the self on reality will become more apparent actually shaping a personal 2012.

I want to start from that and also take inspiration from something Salvatore Brizzi said.

Let's assume that there is a World Energy, a One, whatever you want to call it.
Let's say that individuals are incarnation of this same energy in a living being.

If the living being (let's call him Huber) can re-access his source of World Energy (soul -again, the name is not important now, just the concept) his factual barrier that separates him from the World Energy (body / ego) becomes only a formal barrier, as in terms on CONSCIOUS he will be at One. Which he already is to begin with, simply now he will be AWARE of it.

Now, let's say that if we trust a fairly overwhelming amount of information, SOMETHING will happen in the next few years. Although the theories differ greatly, there seems to be a common thread not so much about events as about a great even of Awakening.

So, let's say Wold Energy is syncing back with Itself. Which means that all projections and microcosmoses of it (including people) will sync back with one another and with It.

If we don't know but, for interest, conviction or just for the sake of this argument, believe these things to be reasonably true, then Huber will follow through/enhance this process.

But what happens if we don't act like Huber?

Here's what I think 2012 will be.

As I was writing in previous posts, what we lack innerly is supplied by the outside.
The cracks we create in the World Energy by lacking in awareness are filled by the world itself. This energy is a-moral, it follows only itself, truly beyond good and evil (although living b it is what we'd call Good-though we misuse that concept very mcuh- in so much that it's perfectly real, true and full expression of self because of One because of self and so forth).
So when it "fills in" it does just that. And that "filling" might take the shape of something "bad", that provides what we're lacking, but since it's entangled in reality it follows its (fake)morals, tricks and workings.

So if the Wolrd Energy is syncing to Itself, and we with it and through it and making it happen, what happens if our awareness is lacking and we can't bring/follow this along?
If we're not all Huber, here's what I think will happen: it will get filled in.
The Outside will take charge of a lacking Inside. "One-ness" will be imposed from the outside: New World order. Quickening will come from the outside: War.

So let's all be (like) Huber.

eighth post: perspective and terrorism

"Terrorism as defined by official U.S. documents is the calculated use of violence or threat of violence to attain goals that are political, religious, or ideological instate. " Funny how they conveniently left out "economical".

The (mis)calculated use of force supported and sustained by the american government and american troops does exactly that.
Even if (in my opinion, at best very naively) looked at as "exporting democracy" (or "imposing democracy, which is just a tad ironic), American war efforts are still use of violence to obtain ideological, political and religious goals and, by their own definition, terrorism.
The fact that they think they are right doesn't make it any less ideological, political or religious.

The fact that, when looked at with just some attention and information, all these goals are largely economical, makes American Terrorism and even more inhumane type of terrorism, that sacrifices life for interest rather than belief. Not that sacrifice for belief is better. But it's at least the expression of a warped mind, rather than warped and twisted.

seventh post: will and desire

Actually i wanted to write about something else, but talking with a friend and looking up a few things while downloading of course very legally some weird band I used to listen to in High School, I started to see a specular and reversed way of wanting things.

What I call desire is the influence of something outside of me on me. It hooks from outside, digs and pulls me and my will to fill the distance between me and that thing.
So desire is wrong, in so much that it diminishes me. It's an outside that exercise power of my inside, and I bend myself to follow its rule.
This is I think why so many philosophies try to annihilate the concept of desire.
It is a shortcoming of the philosopher of teacher trying to spread his message that he says "Don't desire" without explaining why, and what he means by "desire". While it's still valid because it circumscribes our "desires" and keeps them in check, which is good, it also doesn't give the deeper reason, which is a shortcoming. Maybe not of the teacher or philosopher, actually, but ours. We take what's given and don't use it as a pointer to look within ourselves and at things, so terrible misunderstandings and mistakes arise.

Now, what I call WILL is me exercising myself in the outer world, me becoming conductor of the personal articulation of World Energy that is me, and letting it flow, enhanced by my conscience and awareness in doing so.
This is "pure" will, Nietzsche's real Will To Power, or Don Juan's "desire nothing", or possibly even Kant's Moral Imperative, and definitely Crowley's "DO WHAT THOU WILT".
Quoting an article: "DO WHAT THOU WILT" was misunderstood to mean do what you want, however one must consider that a human being is a single machine composed of several parts. So, when one says do what thou wilt , he/she must understand the origin of this will in order to promote or demote its importance. One is formed of a material, mental and spiritual component. These components are all controlled and directed by will that flows through the three and uniting them as one. Initiates of the sacred science are acquainted with the fact of a fourth dimension that is the base of this triad that forms a human being. True will is fourth dimension, that directs the human towards his destiny and forces him into the joy of accomplishing what he/she was meant to accomplish.

Leaving the 3-shaped systematization aside, and maybe talks about a fourth dimension of being for later(when I'll have learned more), it's clear that through self-analysis and self-awareness one can bring balance between his parts, and when there's balance simply let that Self flow toward the outside, where it naturally wants to go.
*Point of discussion: the old "Oh, so if my Self is to be a serial killer, I should just go and be a serial killer? What about a moral code? THAT'S what guarantees social life".
Well, no. Morality is a code imposed by the outside to make up for the shortcomings of the inside. If the inside has no shortcomings, the outside has no need to control or make up for anything.
And real self-analysis embraces, understands and frees parts of ourselves that only "act out", more or less destructively, when ignored or not investigated. Most behaviours that would be considered "anti-social" are results or adjustments or responses of certain parts of the Self to the outer world. Just like "morality" as commonly meant, they are a result of a dented situation. Re-compose the situation, there are no dents.

Back to WILL.
I think it's a matter of capsizing, like so many other things.
Things got, once again, turned around.
There is no "formal" or "outer" difference between desiring something of wanting something (I'm using these terms now as described above). Only a difference in intent, which is a symptom of a difference in the life of this want or desire, and the subject that acts it.
Desiring something gives gratification to the part of you that needed an "outside empowerment", because drained of its inner power, because just a part, out of balance and out of touch with itself and the Self.
While to want something means to have your self present to yourself, in check therefore with the One of which we are an articulation, and letting it flow toward the outside world.
I'd like to be able to live like that.

sixth post: more permeable than water

So, you know than John Donne over-used line "No man is an island?"
Cunty bullshit.
Every man is an island. Actually, the idea of island is one of the better suited analogies for a human being.

We're not islands if we look at things from a blind point of view. A blindspot.
If we look at things from the inside out, with complete sight (complete because born of reality) it's the opposite.

We're islands. We are connected, underneath, by the same land. We are the exact same land, but in a specific incarnation. A geological incarnation.
And the sea, that looks like it might divide us, it actually only traces our borders, while keeping us in touch. The sea is always moving, it has currents and waves, it carries messages in bottles, ships, people, lots and lots of fish. Even giant turtles.
It traces us while connecting us, a most permeable border (it transmits fluids, so it transmits itself, like Life), like limen, like thresold before it became threshold.

Our identity is an island.

fifth posting: REVOLUTION

People often ask me "Tom, what do you mean we're ruled by demons? Oh, and what the fuck of various kinds mean?", but mostly they don't. But if they did I would have a really good answer.

Certain branches of magic (anything medieval with engravings of people with funny beards, certain Kabbalah, Crowley) believe that there are real entities and forces in a world within our own. It's not another reality, really, it's just MORE so. These entities exist in our dimension as parts of ourselves, as if we were interdimensional clusters of iceberg tips. Or these entities can be called into our dimension, and take residence in us, like mexicans in texas, only really powerful mexicans that make texas their bitch.
Let's call these Demons.

Certain branches of psychology believe that an individual is composed of parts that coexist and relate, just like a society is composed of individuals (and in fact the way the parts within an individual relate is directly connected with the views and tendencies of that individual in society).
Freud started it off with it Id, Ego, Super-Ego, opening a new door but also getting trapped in centuries of systematization and categorization that divided everything in 3 (Pitagora, Neoplatonism, Christianism, Mystic Christianism, Hegel and so forth).
Gestalt therapy opened things up more, letting go of the need for an artificial system and just sort of acknowledging the parts that come up in an individual.
These parts are a mix of what we'd call "character" and creative adjustments to the outer world, and have their roots deep within us. They struggle for supremacy and attention -when they are not acknowledged and accepted- again like mexicans making texas their twangy bitch.
Let's call these demons.

Certain branches of politics and sociology (Simmel, Reich, Marcuse, the whole counter-culture movement) believe that society, with its downward pinnacle in Capitalistic society (China and Russia are capitalistic societies in their core and administration just like America and Europe are) is basically a capsized version of Life, that misunderstands it, limits it and chokes it. Possibly to Death.
While economy should serve life, they have life serving economy, turning reality into market. People are divorced from their parts(that claim attention becoming demons), therefore themselves, therefore one another. Life is put into categories, hardened boxes that suck it dry. And all this in encouraged by our Oligarchy, who we elect and/or trust to improve our lives: they make Life and Us their well-organized catalogue, serving their own demons (and/or Demons), therefore encouraging more or less directly to just serve our own (thus again serving them and theirs, in circles), solidifying the barriers we create and are taught to create through misguiding information and propaganda, lack of social support (like good education, health care and basic first needs guaranteed for everyone- so everyone could finally get the same starting point and it's up to him or her to make the best of it), near-total control of resources and goods (so that we are more or less unconsciously reminded at all times that we are effectively being held hostage) and in general by rewarding and encouraging obedience, blind faith, categorization, juxtaposition based on artificial concepts that don't embrace or reflect reality (self/other, this/that, right/wrong).
Making us their bitches.
These oligarchs we'll call DEMOns. Because they're just people, in the most belittling way possible. In fact, they are responsible (and we are their full-on accomplices) for making the word "People" a belittling term.

Certain branches of People, lastly, believe that these Oligarchs are in fact actual "Demons". Or at any rate their direct accomplices. Or heirs. Servants. Kissing cousins. Something to that extent.
Reptilian offsprings, Alien regents, Satanic disciples, demonologists.
They, guess what, make us their bitches. Let's call these guys, let's see... DEMONS?
I don't know. I don't want to give them the full power of capitalization. I mean, they kind of already have it. Mh... I'm open to suggestions on this one.
On everything, really. Specifically, on this one.

This is what I mean by "we're ruled by demons".

And if you ask me which of these options I believe to be true, well, I don't see why they can't all be happening at the same time.
It actually makes sense.
But it also shows how the PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY element is key.
The way we live in ourselves is influenced by the outside, but it also influences the outside, because the outside is heavily made by us.
Our relationship with our parts, with our demons and Demons, and therefore with our DEMOns (and/or DEMONS)is the first step we can take, because it's fully within our reach RIGHT NOW. And fuck it's hard. But only harder the more we harden.
The acknowledging and accepting of what goes on within us will completely change the way we view things, to a surprising and freeing, relieving extent.
No more projection, fear, detachment, no more inhumanity. Just full being- and actually not so much "no more" of those things, as much as a deeper understanding and healthier relationship with them. But no more backlash of their destructiveness.

Also, two other quick points.

1- As a general reminder, if something IS, it was at some point affirmed. if it was affirmed, it can always be denied.

2- Once personal emancipation (intellectual, emotional, psychological) happens, Revolution is possible.
How can people change things? Because people ARE things.
Their Monopoly works only is so much that we support it.
They like to remind us of the total control they have. Guess what, really WE are holding them hostage.
They need Us to survive. They need a market. They need buyers.
But we ARE our own support, our own subject and king.

We have a choice NOT to buy from their Monopoly. They don't have a choice not to sell to us.

-personal emancipation
-free information
-independent support, both personal(self analysis) and practical (local non-corporate farming, independent energies are widely available, effective and affordable)
= (mostly) non violent revolution.

Revolution brings a state of being in touch with ourselves and others, not ruling but being ourselves, free to relate and exist, fulfill ourselves. Not in some bucolic community. But here. In New York City. In the World. With movies, music, cars, diners, japanese restaurants. Just INHABITING the world instead of holding on to it. Living instead of surviving. With States and countries brought back to their actual use: to protect and provide for their citizens, giving everyone safety and the BASIS for a fulfilling life: instruction, health care, basic services and commodities, shelter and food for survival if needed.

I mean, it sounds worthwhile to me.

fourth posting: threshold

This comes from friends.

Good old Ed Maxe commented on my very first blog, and I replied. As that's kind of the point.
And I thought, well, this could be my next blog. A second-hand blog. But that is also kind of the point. The second-handedness of things, but relative, which makes it the only hand, a directionless ranking so no ranking at all, just a multi-directional reality.

We were talking about You, Me, Us, all the pronouns that make an I.
Also, parenthesis. That saying "there's no I in team". Okay. There is an I in team. English is not a phonetic language, 'cause for one character (i.e., "E") there can be more than one sound (i.e. pronunciation. "Let", "Eagle", "Like").
But in phonetics, which is an awesome way of writing a language with its sounds rather than its spelling (so that if you know the phonetic alphabet you can read any language in the world, once it's transcribed in phonetics, and not only correctly, but theoretically with the right accent too), one character has only one sound.
In the word "team" the central vowel (which in spelling is "ea") is pronounced "ee". Now, that "ee" sound, in phonetics is actually represented by "I".
Why? Because throughout the world most languages (Western languages, anyway) pronounce "I" "ee". Like, pretty much all of them apart from English.
Direct derivation from Latin, through Ancient Greek, through possibly Indoeuropean.
So, there is an I in team.

"it's fun how pronouns move in the same 8-shaped figure when looking for definition.
it's also fun how when people usually define, they harden the borders of a concept and make it a finite category, while ideally define would mean de-fine, remove the borders and see them more as a continuous soglia. what's the english word for soglia again? threshold, right. which is also fun, because it originally indicated "point of entry" (and spelled with -old) but has been later turned to "hold" and took to mean "holding something out", proving that we really have issues with not categorizing things. so we do, often turning them around and making them mean the opposite of what they are. which is when the word fun starts really losing its flair.
Oh, but it's fun that 8 is the number of the Scorpio." (Ed Maxe is a scorpio too)
Yeah. I just quoted myself.

This opens room for the next blog. I want to write about that border/connection.
And in doing so I'll get help from another friend, the illustrious Doctor Davide Marucci and his thesis which is just about that.

So, you know. That will be fun.

third blogging: make a chair

you should probably read my script, as it's truly awesome. also, it needs a producer. do you have lots of money and feel like you reached a point in your life where you need to pretend you like art? produce a play. this play.

http://www.massify.com/profiles/tommasomatelli/scripts

it's got copyright, asshole.
if you try and steal it I will track you down, slap you in the face with your own dick, rip off your head, suck on your spine and make a chair out of your carcass

if you're a girl, I will track you down and ask you out. and date you.
you don't want that.

second blogging: ideally, ideas

I want to clarify what this blog is about: it's unclear.
I'm glad that was clarified.
At least we know where we stand, so we can trip better.

Ideally about politics-alchemy-contemporary events-revolution-magic-conspiracy-alternative energies-philosophy-therapy. Ideally, ideas and their roots / branches in life.

Most likely it will be about me, dislodged humor, me, you, puns, you in relation to me, the other way around, more me.

Life?

a good first blogging

The settings thingy asked me if I wanted an "adult content" disclaimer. I thought no. Then I thought what if I use the word cunt, and then get sued by a somehow literate blog-guzzling four-year-old. I don't want to pay the little cunty cunt therapy for the rest of his life. I'm already paying for my own. Because I used the word cunt above. It shocked me. So I said yes. It's important to feel safe. And I do. Cunt, cunt, cunt, it's a good first blogging.
It has everything. Laughs, a gripping plot, real issues and characters you can relate to.
Fuck you, four-year-old. No lawsuit for you. You'll just have to work like the rest of us. Well, not that I really really work, I guess, per se. Pronouns are relative. Also, work. I do relative work. I work relatively. Not for relatives. That's lame. Like lime. Is it a lemon? No, it's a lime, the hipster version of a lemon. A lemon that lives in Greenpoint because Williamsburg got so commercialized, so standardized in its sterile originality, like a banana republic ad. And Greenpoint has so much more character. Fuck you, lime, I wish you lyme. Disease. Which doesn't affect fruit. That's how lame that is, as a disease. And it's still less lame than lime. Which is lamer than sub-lame puns, or self-blame. Fuck you Williamsburg, and oh fuck you Greenpoint, you are the two pointless halves of the same overpriced lime. And you, Greenpoint, You are on the G train. That's not even a real train. It's like three steps below the J in terms of believability as a train. Fuck that.
You, four-year-old waiting to sue me, you'll probably work for your dad. You'll go to the gym and talk on your iphone or whatever apple will invent in twenty years. A portable holographic lemur. A butler that turns into a phone. Gerard Butler that turns your phone into a lemur. Using only his abs.
You'll be at the gym talking on your holographic lemur-butler, even though you're not supposed to, but you don't care 'cause rules of common decency don't apply to you, no, you'll be lifting things and saying "what the fuck? what the fuck? you didn't get the order? what the fuck? Put China on the phone. No, fuck that, put my mom on the phone. Fuck you, put my dad on. You're fired. Yeah, I just fired you. That just happened. You cunt."
'Till one day you'll wake up and feel the empty weight of it all. And you'll die. Your dad will die of heartbreak. Your mom won't care, but she'll die to keep up appearances. The secretary you fired will be made CEO of the company. She will marry me. We'll text every day with our lemur-phones. We'll go to dinner with Gerard Butler and make fun of you.

If you think I'm putting too much hope in this blog, it's because you don't know what I'm planning on writing.
Which is something we have in common.
Pathetic and empathetic are just one syllable apart. I feel that sometime I live in it. Eventually I'll move. After all, everything does that. Maybe, after you're dead, we'll become friends. People are the most permeable border. Let's just not drown.
It's so easy to worry. That's why I wanted to feel safe. At least a little. With the disclaimer. So. Good night.