demoncracy


Saturday, May 12, 2012

Twenty: Vynl

I used to like having such strong, thunderstormy feelings. Now I'm quite wary of them, as they usually mean I'm projecting or just lying to myself in various degrees. Which is why it's so surprising when I find them back inside me, this love, jumping at me from reality, almost blind-siding me. Enticing me all over again. Like Life, I guess, always the same, always Itself in each single pattern, every movement completely not new yet so fully present, real that it is anew - so are these creeping, possibly creepy feelings: I know them, I know what they are, but each time they happen again I find them, find me in them, them in me and all that. They surprise me by being exactly themselves. Which is why they are surprising: because, for me, to actually feel this way is quite surprising. Even more so when it slithers out of reality like breath, like a paper snake in sand. With such ease, it feels like they are made of the same grains, paper and sand, such ease but such thoroughly carnal texture, like sandpaper softly on skin. It's where safety and excitement, movement and space meet, for me. Which is the moment I am with you.

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