personal

Trust. For me to believe that what you say is what you mean, what you want, that it's not coming out of any obligation or responsibility, because that is a burden and an uncertainty I cannot take. For you to believe the same, because we both deserve to be able to move freely with one another and relate on a transparent, even keel, where caring doesn't mean trying to carry the other person, but give them full credit that they can handle, protect, carry themselves. While knowing that we are always there for one another. To live freely, parallel, without keeping ourselves or trying to keep the other person there. I really want that. That freedom, that love, that trust. I would love to have it with you. Also, I just wanted to say one thing. When last night you said that you're doing nothing with your life so at least you want to support people that do stuff that is worthwhile, and that's who you are... I mean, I tink it's wonderful that you are so supportive, and I wish there where more people like you. Hell, I wish I had more people like you in my life, especially growing up. But I also think that what you have inside, not related to anything else, that is incredibly worthwhile, one of the most worthwhile things I have personally encountered in my life. It's why I love you, or at least a big part. I think you're wonderful, and yes, it's partially because you're caring, and sweet, and really funny and clever and talented, and hot. But that's just an "external" part, which to me feels like a beautiful fresco on a beautiful, vast, almost magical room. What I believe I see and feel inside you, the life you have inside you, the depth and ways in which you are connected to life and yourself, to me that's incredibly precious and worthwhile. I think you are a treasure and have a treasure inside. I feel immensely grateful to be just near that, to have that in my life. I just hope that you give yourself the credit I think you deserve for all you do, but also for all you are. Because it's beautiful. And very powerful, and I feel privileged that you decide to share whatever part of it with me. I'm not saying this to cheer you up or anything. I just believe it,and you know I have issues with shutting about my opinions. I hope this doesn't upset you. If it does, please let me know. And if it does, I apologize in advance. Otherwise you don't have to reply or anything. I love you. Also, I don't know if this is too personal to be on a blog. i will take it down if you prefer. The only reason why I posted it here instead of sending it to you, is that I didn't want to burden you with it. I didn't want this to intrude in your day if its not a good moment, and I thought this is something you ca access when/if you feel like it. Love.